iPearls before iSwine?

What do you get when you cross a netbook with the iPhone? The iPad. An alien that is neither a computer nor a phone. Base models can’t make calls, yet none have a USB port, Ethernet port, HDMI port (resolution’s 1024X768 anyway) or a memory card reader. Apple has perfected the art fooling people. It makes great looking shiny stuff, sells it at “unbeleivable” prices, while the buyers hardly realise that beneath all the accelerometers, touch screens, shiny surfaces and smooth animations, lies a 1 GHz computer with an unchangeable storage of 16-64 GB for which they just shelled out $500-830.

Imagine. You can’t video chat, you can’t run flash (Sucks for farmville addicts). Battery replacements? No. Change to a better hard disk? No. CDs, DVDs, Blu Ray? No. Upgrade RAM? No.

This might sound stupid, but people will get serious neck-sprains and spondilitis-like conditions from looking down on the surface all the time. Of course, you could buy the Keyboard attachment at an “unbelievable” price of $100 or something like that.

People will keep buying it and it’ll become the best thing to possess. Suddenly one day, Steve Jobs dressed in black tights will give a keynote address and will yet again unveil apple’s “best computer yet” by unlocking some capabilities of the iPad. iPad 2.0 will cost $500 and the iPad, which will be relegated to the “not cool” realm, shall keep selling at $100. A year later, iPad 3.0 will have an “astounding” 128 GB storage and will also feature the “much awaited” USB port. iPad shall be discontinued. iPad 2.0 shall sell at $100 and if you wont have iPad 3.0, youll be a called funny names.

That’s the Apple model of selling stuff. Basically, you take anything. Let’s say a pig. Here’s how Apple would sell a pig:

iStep 1: Put lipstick on pig.

iStep 2: Train it to not eat feces.

iStep 3: Spray it with perfume.

iStep 4: Deprive it of all functionality that someone would want from a pig.

iStep 5: Tout it as the “best” by apple yet, and release it in a “Major Announcement”. Keep it simple. Call it the iPig.

iStep 6: Create hype. Show malnourished teenagers with long hair playing with it. Dont forget to dress the hipsters in bright clothes.

iStep 7: After milking people dry by selling them a functionality deprived, yet “feel-good” pig, Kill iPig. Dont serve its meat as it won’t taste great. Raise iPig 2.0 with slightly better features than iPig. Repeat from iStep 1. Keep selling iPig carcass for a fraction of the original price.

This device has not yet been authorized as required by the rules of the Federal Communications Commission. This device is not, and may not be, offered for sale or lease, or sold or leased, until authorization is obtained. -  Seen on the iPad’s website.

Eclipse Education

Click on the image for a larger version:

Why you REALLY shouldn't come outside during a solar eclipse

Antimatter

Comic I made (click on the images to open them):

Antimatter by Paritosh Mathur is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.

Chrome to Firefox, Banshee Internet Radio and Linux

Get More Screen from Firefox

It’s been a while since I wrote about anything that made sense (wait, when did that ever happen?). So today, I decided to tell you about – among many things – a simple, yet often underused customisation to Firefox, that gives you more screen space à la Google Chrome. I’ve observed that many people have started using Google Chrome just because of the amount of screen-based real estate it lets them save for their browsing purposes. However, they’re missing out on a lot of goodies. In particular, I’d never switch to Chrome until they support add-ons, and more specifically, one of my favourite add-ons: AdBlock Plus (which I seriously doubt Google will ever do, since it’ll cut down on their ad-revenues). Also, they’re missing out on a bunch of other add-ons like DownThemAll and FashGot. Anyway, this isn’t a Chrome Bashing post (I’ll leave that for later ). Here’s a link to Stefano Forenza’s EXCELLENT blog, where he explains how to do it in detail: http://www.stefanoforenza.com/minimal-firefox-how-to/. Do give his other articles a read, too. They’re really different and amazing.

Banshee Internet Radio FINALLY Working!

I access the Internet through a proxy server. Also, I prefer listening to music on Banshee Media Player. Up till the time I last checked, I couldn’t listen to Internet Radio because I was behind a proxy. After trawling through Ubuntu forums and finding several workarounds, one of which included creating a shell script that launched Banshee and kept a terminal window running in the background, I switched to Songbird, which is a favorite among many people. Songbird was fine, the only problem was that it was U-G-L-Y. It looked more like a browser than a music player. Although it had things like a variation of iTune’s coverflow, a mashtape that fetched the track’s details, and a nifty lyrics fetching tool (all of which worked under my proxy settings) ; it looked more like a web browser than a music player (It uses the same engine as Firefox) and had the ability to browse web pages (yuck!)

A few hours ago, I happened to check on Banshee once again. I played a track, and suddenly noticed last.fm recommendations popping up on the bottom of the screen! Could it be true? Had Banshee finally started to recognise my proxy settings? I scrambled to the Radio section, and added Dubai’s City 101.6 to its list (the URL, in case you need it is: mms://adams.wm-live.abacast.com/arabian_radio-city-64) and hit the play button. Then I noticed the words Contacting…. Bufferring (Whoopie!) and then finally, I heard playback! So it seems that the people at Banshee have finally fixed this bug, and have reinstated Banshee as my favourite music player. Here’s what music players should and should not look like:

Songbird: BAD!

Banshee: GOOD!

Official Registered Linux User!

Yep! I’ve registered myself as a Linux user. What do I get out of it? Well, nothing, actually; but it’s fun and offcial looking. So why not? You can do it, too. Even if you’re not a Linux user (Sadly, this ancient website implements no OS detection). So go ahead and do it at http://counter.li.org/. You’ll get a cool registration badge.

Stefano Forenza, Again!

Well, this section is just a reminder about this new blog I discovered. It’s a tech-blog, mostly dealing with linux-related (particularly, Ubuntu-related) topics. Here’s the link: http://www.stefanoforenza.com/

Heroes is the Most Boring thing to Happen to TV

Typical Story:

Sylar/Claire/Any Petrelli is talking to Angela/Noah/Any of the Ali Larter characters about how complicated life is/ how everything is to be done for the greater good/ how hungry one is for something, when suddenly a group of gunmen/ an African daydreamer/Hiro Nakamura/ some nutcase escapee from the containment facility shows up and opens fire/ starts painting/ stops time/ Blasts everyone with crazy blue-orange fireballs. Blood, paper and furniture fies everywhere, accompanied by shaky camerawork and people running here and there. Suddenly the scene changes for no sane reason and we see Nathan Petrelli campaigning for some lame election. After listening to this deliberately shot scene as the script writers had nothing exciting in mind, we go back to the previous freak show scene. Later we realise that all was a dream induced by the African/time travel experience by Hiro/ A dream of Angela or a dream within a time travel or a time travel within a dream involving time travel or a time travel and dream interleaved. Suddenly, some guy returns from the dead and we are all surprised. The show ends with Mohinder Suresh babbling some nonsense in accompaniment to a castrato’s chants, and the same story is repeated next week.

The Manliest Drink in the World

Disclaimer: The following recipe is given for reading and entertainment purposes only. I neither endorse nor recommend the preparation and/or consumption of the drink whose recipe I am about to suggest. I also claim no responsibility for the effects that preparing and/or consuming the following might have on anybody’s mental and/or physical health. It is strongly recommended that you DO NOT try to prepare and/or consume this drink anywhere and under any circumstances.

Want a Sip?

Ingredients:

1. Vodka. Any brand. Standard shot.

2. Roasted and crushed italian/colombian coffee beans. 1 tbsp.

3. Pure and undiluted (CH₃)₂CHCH=CH(CH₂)₄CONHCH₂C₆H₃-4-(OH)-3-(OCH₃): 8-methyl-N-vanillyl-6-nonenamide, also known as Capsaicin; the active ingredient of chilli peppers. In it’s undiluted form, it is at least 18 times hotter than the world’s strongest chilli, and at least 533 times stronger than tabasco pepper. Use not more than 1 atom.

3. 1 drop of Chuck Norris’ sweat.

5. 1 ounce of road rage.

6. An eyeful of football/rugby/wrestling/boxing.

7. 10 years worth of SUV driving experience.

8. Facial Hair.

9. 1 ounce of pervertedness.

10. 1 year of gaming experience.

Method:

1. Filter the coffee after adding 50 ml water.

2. Add vodka.

3. Add the Capsaicin atom. Wear safety goggles and a hazmat suit.

4. Add the sweat.

6. Add the facial hair.

7. Add everything else. Be extra careful while handling pervertedness.

8.  Filter and boil the concoction in that order.

9. Bind the glass in chains and use a whip to keep it tame.

10. Dropkick the drink five times.

11. Drink while hot and burp out the flames immediately.

Mozilla Prism

A quick post about Mozilla’s name for its web-apps project called Prism. To be released as Web runner, Prism creates application-like environments out of traditional web-based services like gmail, google talk, facebook and twitter. People have traditionally used browsers for viewing web pages, and dedicated email clients, chat clients, news-feed aggregators for specialized tasks. Since the home user has seen a paradigm shift from these to web-based services, Mozilla decided to separate browsing from checking email, chatting and posting  facebook wall entries. Prism will create standalone applications that you can launch from your desktop, use solely for the purposes they are intended for, and then close them. In a way, all they’ve done is created little launchers that open up hyperlinks in a firefox window, but don’t allow any out of course web-navigation. Kind of cool if you think that the traditional way feels more satisfying. Not kind of cool if you realize what they’ve really done in essence: Strip off a browser of some clothes and shove a rod up its behind. This is still a labs project. You can find out more about it at http://labs.mozilla.com/2007/10/prism/ (By the way, this page is horribly designed. Somebody teach the Mozilla people how to use CSSs. They’ve been making too many browsers).

Movie Ratings

Here are the ratings for some movies I have recently watched. Believe me, these ratings do matter. They are non-numerical. You may assign them your own ratings based on my comments.

• Dostana: Funny, Funny, Funny! Why was bollywood not able to produce a single good timepass flick so far? Amazing music, too!

   

  Munda munde naal paunda yaariyaan
  Sehra paan da noore aunda khwaab maa da ujad gaya
  Maa da laadla vigad gaya
  Maa da laadla vigad gaya
  

  
  Heer mili na isnu ye raanjhe utthe mar gaya
  Gora chitta mukhda dekho kala kar gaya
  

  Innu raas na aaiyaan zulfon da thandiya Chaawaan
  

  Munda saada doli chad gaya
  Band baj gaya, oye hoye hoye
  Munda saada doli chad gaya
  Band baj gaya, oye hoye hoye
  

   

• How to Lose Friends and Alienate People: Really funny. I loved it. I don’t care if you critics think it deviated from the memoir. Slapstick is not necessarily crap, uh, stick (?)
• A Wednesday: One of my two favorite Hindi movies; the other one being Andaz Apna Apna.
• Horton Hears a Who!: Good entertainment. Good animation.
  
• Dragon Hunters: Beautiful animation. Boring story.
  
• The Ruins: Another crappy horror movie. Need I say more?
  
• Golmaal Returns: Should not qualify for this article, since I came out of the hall after half an hour (Yes, I don’t download movies illegally. I watched all these movies on legal DVDs / in a movie hall).
  

How to Watch 21 Movies in a Week and then Restore your Circadian Rhythm

Last week was weird. As a child, I never used to watch a James Bond movie because I was aware that it was a part of a huge series. Something deep inside reminded me that it wouldn’t be as good a deal as watching the entire series would be. There are always some basic subplots, storylines, in-jokes and characters that are repeated. Having just their torsos or limbs isn’t half as fun as having each and every organ, muscle, tissue and offal portion is. The first Bond I knew was Pierce Brosnan. His bond-movie titles always put me off. So I never bothered to watch them. However, when there was big news about the selection of a new Bond, and a brand new, better than ever Bond film, my curiosity about the series was stirred up. However, I couldn’t watch it, since the Get-it-all-or-get-none syndrome was still there. So while some people; who love invisible cars, remote controlled explosions, death-ray satellites and watch-lasers liked nothing about the film, others were raving about it for being the first Bond film with a plausible storyline and an unstupid plot. Yeah. I felt bad. I HAD NOT SEEN A SINGLE BOND FLICK! WHAT ON EARTH WAS I DOING?

 

The Bonds

 

Two years passed, and during that period I had forgotten about watching the adventures of Jimbo Bond. Two weeks ago, my friend Rohan, who is a car-freak, was all excited about the release of Quantum of Solace. Here’s what he said to me:

 

Rohan: Parry, Quantum of Solace on 7^th November

Me: Uhhhh, What’s that?

Rohan: (GASP!) The NEW BOND FLICK!!!!

Me: Uh huh. I haven’t seen any of them.

Rohan: Not even Casino Royale?

Me: Not even Casino Royale.

Rohan: GASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSP!!!!

Me: (Crap! I haven’t even seen Casino Royale!)

 

So I decided not to live in a world of shame and ignominy anymore. If James Bond is calling, his call shall be duly answered.

Cut to the Thursday before the last one. I legally get DVDs of all the Bond movies. I count. There are 21. I can easily watch all of them before the 7^th of November, I say to myself. However, I find myself factoring in a few more details:

There shall be quizzes in between.

There shall be tests in between.

There shall be project reports in between.

In short, there shall be a loss of continuity. I decide to act upon Plan B. Plan B simply instructs me to watch all Bond movies as fast as I can.

 

Thursday: I start sequentially with Dr. No; starring Sean Connery. Oh yes, one more thing: I start at 2 AM.

I sleep at 4:30 AM

Friday: I go to the weekend trip, so there is no Bond.

Saturday: I start with From Russia with Love at 12 AM. I watch another one and sleep at 5 AM.

Sunday: I return after my lecture and start a bond film. An hour later I return for the next lecture, with the movie paused on a frame of James Bond looking at Ms. Moneypenny in a very suggestive manner. I return and continue the saga. I break for my jog at 6 and dinner at 7. Bond resumes. I watch 3 bond films that day.

Monday: 3.5 Bond films. It’s a day similar to Sunday.

Tuesday: I’m falling into a routine now. I manage to watch 4 Bond films.

Wednesday: Another 3.5 bond films.

Thursday: 3 Bond films are over by 23:30. Just one more to go! Casino Royale ends at 1:58 AM, and I am overjoyed. I research on Bond at Wikipedia and sleep at 5.

Friday
to
Sunday: I get no sleep at night.

 

Anyhow, Plan B succeeds. By far, I like Casino Royale the most, and Daniel Craig is my favorite Bond. I legally get some Bond music and declare myself to be an Authority on James Bond.

Please Remember That!

On the part where I tell you about how I restore my circadian rhythm…. I’ll let you know in a later post!

So if you have any queries regarding James Bond, you know whom to approach.

Regards

~~~~

 

 

This is a Post Directly from Word 2007

Hi! This is a tryout post directly from Microsoft Word 2007. It’s got a nifty feature called New Blog Post, using which, you can publish posts directly to blog services like Windows Live, Blogger, WordPress and Typepad.

 

Text’s fine. Let’s check out the images:

 

I have even added a reflective picture style to the above screen-grab, in addition to a rotation effect. That’s enough for now.

Here’s a table:

This	is
a	table
inserted	from
Microsoft	Word

 

Now Let’s see whether it comes up fine on Wordrpress. Do tell me if you found this article useful.