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Archive for February 2009

Heroes is the Most Boring thing to Happen to TV

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Typical Story:

Sylar/Claire/Any Petrelli is talking to Angela/Noah/Any of the Ali Larter characters about how complicated life is/ how everything is to be done for the greater good/ how hungry one is for something, when suddenly a group of gunmen/ an African daydreamer/Hiro Nakamura/ some nutcase escapee from the containment facility shows up and opens fire/ starts painting/ stops time/ Blasts everyone with crazy blue-orange fireballs. Blood, paper and furniture fies everywhere, accompanied by shaky camerawork and people running here and there. Suddenly the scene changes for no sane reason and we see Nathan Petrelli campaigning for some lame election. After listening to this deliberately shot scene as the script writers had nothing exciting in mind, we go back to the previous freak show scene. Later we realise that all was a dream induced by the African/time travel experience by Hiro/ A dream of Angela or a dream within a time travel or a time travel within a dream involving time travel or a time travel and dream interleaved. Suddenly, some guy returns from the dead and we are all surprised. The show ends with Mohinder Suresh babbling some nonsense in accompaniment to a castrato’s chants, and the same story is repeated next week.

Written by parrymathur

February 19, 2009 at 2237

Posted in Humor

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The Manliest Drink in the World

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Disclaimer: The following recipe is given for reading and entertainment purposes only. I neither endorse nor recommend the preparation and/or consumption of the drink whose recipe I am about to suggest. I also claim no responsibility for the effects that preparing and/or consuming the following might have on anybody’s mental and/or physical health. It is strongly recommended that you DO NOT try to prepare and/or consume this drink anywhere and under any circumstances.

Want a Sip?

Want a Sip?


Ingredients:

1. Vodka. Any brand. Standard shot.

2. Roasted and crushed italian/colombian coffee beans. 1 tbsp.

3. Pure and undiluted (CH3)2CHCH=CH(CH2)4CONHCH2C6H3-4-(OH)-3-(OCH3): 8-methylN-vanillyl-6-nonenamide, also known as Capsaicin; the active ingredient of chilli peppers. In it’s undiluted form, it is at least 18 times hotter than the world’s strongest chilli, and at least 533 times stronger than tabasco pepper. Use not more than 1 atom.

3. 1 drop of Chuck Norris’ sweat.

5. 1 ounce of road rage.

6. An eyeful of football/rugby/wrestling/boxing.

7. 10 years worth of SUV driving experience.

8. Facial Hair.

9. 1 ounce of pervertedness.

10. 1 year of gaming experience.

Method:

1. Filter the coffee after adding 50 ml water.

2. Add vodka.

3. Add the Capsaicin atom. Wear safety goggles and a hazmat suit.

4. Add the sweat.

6. Add the facial hair.

7. Add everything else. Be extra careful while handling pervertedness.

8.  Filter and boil the concoction in that order.

9. Bind the glass in chains and use a whip to keep it tame.

10. Dropkick the drink five times.

11. Drink while hot and burp out the flames immediately.

Written by parrymathur

February 15, 2009 at 721

Posted in Humor

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