Let’s LOL


leave a comment »



The Recipient of this Message

Wednesday, 17 December 3037

Dear Recipient

If you have successfully received and deciphered this message, you may be surprised to know that it has been transmitted not just from very far away in space, but also from very far away in time. Although it is highly unlikely that it is 1901-1907 (Gregorian: 1894- 1900, Hijri: 1311-1317, Hebrew: 5654-5660, Indian Standard: 1816-1822) from your frame of reference, it is theoretically possible for it to be as early as this when you read our message (This is because electromagnetic wave transmission and reception was still in its infancy during this period).

As we compose this message, we are in the year 3037 or approximately 3041 on the Gregorian calendar, 2494 on the Islamic Hijri, 6801 on the Hebrew calendar and 2963 on the Indian Standard Calendar. If you have received this message in its entirety, you may refer to the index where we explain how to convert from our calendar to all those from your times.

To begin with, let us clear a most obvious doubt from your mind. You’re probably asking yourself, “This is a practical joke, is it not”? Well, depending on the era in which you have received our message, you’ll either easily digest the fact that this message is indeed real, or shall dismiss it as a prank played by your neighbour. You see, ever since humans started capturing electromagnetic signals from outer-space, they have on several occasions received some of very high intensities: signals that seem to have come from the most distant reaches of the observable-universe. In the early days of experiments on radio signal-detection, many people proposed that these signals might have been transmitted by intelligent alien life. Unfortunately, all recorded attempts to decipher those signals were unsuccessful. The fact, however, is that they are indeed signs of intelligent life, but not alien! These are signals that have been transmitted across temporal barriers; and you, the reader / listener / sensor are someone who has the privilege of consuming them. If you happen to live in anywhere from the 20th to the 25th century (our calendar), you may have a progressively harder time believing that this is not a prank. The reason for this is simple: If you exist in the earliest days of radio transmission, there is a very little chance that many people around you own equipment sophisticated enough to transmit such a message. If you’re from a more modern age (say 500 to 600 years from the time this message is written), you may think that your neighbour’s child is playing with his or her new toy. However, if you’re on or above the trough defined by the era when practical time-travel became understandable, you may be able to digest this fact more easily since you know it is possible to transmit electromagnetic waves on a retrograde curve. If it is just yesterday and you are but me reading this message, then congratulate yourself. Negative time-transmission of signals has been tested practically for the first time in history by you tomorrow! A graph showing the ease-of-belief of this message (on a scale of 0 to 10) is shown below. Since nobody in our recorded history has ever received such a message, the data used to create the graph is hypothetical. However, it strongly models several parallel, executed actions.

From 2221 onwards, it became increasingly easy to transmit high-power signals into the deepest reaches of the universe and to reflect those signals in near-totality by aiming them at large parabolic grau-fields (a distortion in the fabric of space). Also, from 2281 onwards, there was a sharp increase in knowledge about the practicality of time-travel; and in 2729, a solid treatise was published that discussed sending information back in time. Of course, from then onwards, it should have become much easier to believe in a message like this.

You may be wondering whether this could be a classic time-paradox, and that you’re holding in your hands/screens/extra-retinal screens a Letter that Nobody Wrote. To understand this situation, consider this: You find this message and decide to store it for posterity. Stored for posterity, indeed; it ends up in our hands eons later, and we decide to copy it word-for-word and transmit it back in time, when you find it again! The question that arises is who had written this message in the first place! Let us assure you that such a situation can never arise. Time-travel, you see, is like retracing a curve drawn on a plastic film with a very fine ball-point pen. No matter how hard you try, you can never retrace the exact path you initially drew. You always end up drawing multiple curves. So, should matter or information travel back in time, the path it is going to take will be ever so slightly different from the path it originally took to reach its present. This ensures that there is always a starting point and that no paradox occurs. It is entirely possible that the sequences of events that you have experienced as history are different from those that we have, and that your future doesn’t materialise to be the present that is ours. It is generally accepted that these timelines diverge, or flare out. They look a bit like this:

If you exist in the time period denoted by point P and the timeline that you’ve experienced throughout your lifetime is x (the black one), then travelling back in time may take you along a timeline called y (coloured red). Notice the divergence of y from x as we go further back in time. This means that the further you travel backward or forward in time, the more different will be the world where you’ll end up, from where your timeline’s history or future should have taken or will take you. Several other divergence points are illustrated. The point R further diverges from the timeline y into the timeline z. Also, travelling forward in time on the timeline x, it is possible to diverge at a point S into the timeline w (green). The most obvious outcome of this result is that if you choose to record this message and manage to preserve and popularise it enough by the year 3037, possibly nobody will compose it as an original thought and transmit it back in time.

Before going further, please be aware that this message has probably not been composed in the language you’re reading it in. Over the years, we have accumulated a vast repository of most ancient languages and have developed a sophisticated neural algorithm that can simultaneously translate a 10007 word message into 9767 languages in one second. We have encoded this message in all modern and ancient languages that we know. If your timeline doesn’t flare out much from ours, then you may be able to understand this message very easily. We know that the odds of existing in the perfect timeline, catching this signal at the perfect time and happening to decode it into the very language you understand are very low, but we have tried our best to transmit it in all languages and at very high intensities across very closely spaced temporal bands. Also, to ensure enough redundancy, we shall transmit at least 100007 copies of this message. This effectively means that the biggest gaps between the occurrences of this message’s signals will be close to 3 to 5 months at any time after the year 1907. If this message ends abruptly (which is highly possible), please keep trying. Given that you’ve managed to decode it once, you’re now better poised to receive and translate it again. Also, it should be quite obvious that you probably may not receive the fragments of this message in the correct sequence of transmission.

Premises stated; it is time to tell you who we are and why we are doing this. We are a team of engineers, scientists, mathematicians, philosophers and historians working for a private organisation called Tydyätr. The organization was founded in 3017 solely to make time-travel practical and affordable. If we manage to transmit this message back in time, we will have covered the first milestone of our long journey: Transferring information retroactively. We live on a moitié of the Earth called Ferligt. Our moitié specializes in science, technology and the arts. The other moitié, which complements us by providing commercial and defensive services, is known as Karŷ. The government of the Earth functions from the border state of Ke<<SIGNAL<<INTERRUPTED<<TERMINATING<<STREAM<<06222011001755<<<<

(We’ll keep scanning for other signals)


Written by parrymathur

June 23, 2011 at 1827

Posted in the signal

Depth of Knowledge Vs Breadth of Knowledge

leave a comment »

You can understand what the premise is by just reading the title of the post. So here’s an infographic showing which combination of knowledge-depth and knowledge-breadth is known as what (names imagined by me)!


Written by parrymathur

June 23, 2011 at 1810

Posted in Uncategorized

The Daddy of the Mac

leave a comment »

[UPDATE, 6/10/2011: Steve Jobs passed away on 5th October 2011]

The picture above in itself is iconic. It shows some of the most influential entrepreneurs of the internet age, dining with US President Barack Obama, toasting to the digital future that they’ve partly helped to shape. On the night of 17 February, 2011; Barack Obama, during a trip to the San Francisco Bay Area, hosted a dinner for the country’s top tech CEOs. The guest-list included Google’s CEO Eric Schmidt, Facebook-founder Mark Zuckerberg, and the iDude himself – Apple Inc. CEO Steve Jobs. These are the people who carry the internet-age’s torches in their hands, leading the pack from the front. This fact itself makes one want to print this photo and preserve it in a scrapbook. However, what this photograph is being increasingly noted for is something else. Seated to Obama’s left is a frail gentleman dressed in black shirt that seems a size too big for him. Although we can only see him from the back, his forearm looks like it could use pounds of flesh. If the media is to be believed, Apple CEO and co-founder Steven Paul Jobs may have as little as six weeks to live.

This is what you get on Google Suggest when you search for “Steve Jobs”

In January this year, Steve Jobs took a medical leave of absence to focus on his health. He had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2004, and has since undergone a liver transplant in 2009. A few days ago, The National Enquirer – a US tabloid that prints what to sane minds appears speculative nonsense – stated that Steve Jobs may only have six more weeks until he meets his maker. The Enquirer’s analysis was based on following Jobs around for an entire day, taking pictures of him and then handing them over to the two Doctors Gabe Mirkin and Samuel Jacobson to analyse and comment on. None of the doctors are oncologists or have met Steve Jobs personally [SOURCE]. Although most – including me – would be quick to dismiss the Enquirer’s report as trashy speculation; many people are genuinely worried that there could be a hint of truth in this report.

Steve Jobs is a man who has created magic partly with his two hands and mainly with his hundred billion brain-cells. He founded the company in 1976 with Steve Wozniak and Ronald Wayne. The rest, as they say, is history. Under Jobs’ dictatorship leadership, Apple created products that weren’t just state-of-the-art, but were eons ahead of anything that people had ever seen. In 1984, Apple introduced the Macintosh – a computer like none other; a computer that cast the template for how a personal computer should be. After Jobs was fired in a boardroom coup in 1985, Apple entered a slump-age. They briefly made innovative products like the PowerBook, which set the standards for the design layout of the modern laptop; however they soon ran out of ideas and were termed a dying company. The company’s rise to profitability was seen soon after Jobs was re-hired in 1996. As soon as he became the CEO, he tightened the leash on the company and made sure that they products they made were top-notch and utterly desirable. Using sharp marketing, creative design and clever business strategy, Apple brought to us some of the toys that consist of many a kid’s and adults’ festival-dreams. The iMac, iPod, iPhone and iPad are some of the objects that redefined how we use digital technology. All of this has been the handiwork of one man – Steve Jobs.

His charisma is incomparable. It is under his leadership that Apple has entered the Golden Age it is in. The man knows how to sell what he makes, and he does it well. Blame Apple all you want for being too secretive, too patent-hungry, too greedy and too restrictive. Tell Steve Jobs all you want that his cell phone doesn’t even have FM radio and can’t send files on Blutooth; but the truth is that you can’t stop drooling when a shiny iToy is dangled in front of your face. You want it, and you want it bad. The polish and refinement that is put into iProducts is what gives them the edge. Their fine attention to detail and an uncompromising attitude towards quality shows well in the gadgets they make. Who calls it an MP3-player? All portable music players are called iPods, whether they’re made by Apple or not. The iPhone was followed by the blackberry-touch, Android-based touch phones and Windows Phone 7 – based touch phones. The iPad was quickly followed by a worried Samsung with their Galaxy Tab. HP and Dell joined in the panic soon by making the Dreamscreen and the Streak. If Apple will make a car, they’ll redefine it, and everyone else will be quick to copy them. You can thank Steve Jobs for that.

Some would call me a (very devout) fanboy after reading the last paragraph. I’m not. The only Apple products I possess are an iPhone 3Gs and a now defunct iPod nano 4G. Like most people, I’ve cursed Apple for their restrictive policies, I’ve vented my frustration at the fact that I can’t do my own battery-removal, and at times, I’ve regretted the lack of FM in my cell phone. However, the last paragraph doesn’t lie. It tells the tale as it is. You’ll still drool when you see the new iPhone 5 if it launches this summer.

It’d be a sad and abrupt end to the Golden Age of Apple if the S-man passes away too soon. Again, like most people, I don’t believe in a single word the Enquirer has printed based on their long-distance diagnosis. They may have swayed the AAPL stock a bit, but that should be it. I hope Steve Jobs recovers soon and comes back to running the show at Apple for at least another ten years. After all, who would want to see a presidential toast to the digital future burn to a bitter-crisp?

Written by parrymathur

February 18, 2011 at 2352

Happy New Year 2011

leave a comment »

Here’s wishing everyone a very Happy New Year 2011!

Written by parrymathur

January 1, 2011 at 1000

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged with , ,

Samsung Galaxy 5 – Android Awesomeness

with 2 comments

Recently, my mom’s stone-age Nokia whose name I cannot even remember, had started giving her problems. She had really been wanting a new one, and I had my eye on Samsung’s Galaxy 5 smartphone as the perfect choice for her. The Galaxy 5 is a Corby with engines replaced. Instead of Samsung’s propreitary OS, it runs Google’s Android 2.1 Éclair. At INR 9000, it is the most affordable Android smartphone in the Indian market. So Today, on the occasion of Vijaydashmi, I went to my local Mobile Store and bought it.

The phone delivers all that it promises. Samsung has cleverly lowered the processor speed, screen resolution and camera resolution of higher end phones , and has crafted a power-packed smartphone that is affordable. Its touch screen is not disappointing at all. Unlike most inexpensive touch phones, where you need to press hard and coax the UI to budge to your commands, this phone glides as smooth as its big brothers: The Galaxy S and The Milestone. I am really happy that Samsung has taken this step to increase the reach of its smartphones farther across its market. This phone is an excellent choice for anybody who wants to experience quality mobile software at a budget or someone who wants to make a switch from Nokia. I daresay, at the risk of being mauled by Nokia fans, that this is a good alternative to the E63. It lies in the same price-bracket, is more feature-rich, and adds a much needed touch of coolness to a smartphone.
For detailed tech-specs, you can see GSMArena’s listing for this phone at: http://www.gsmarena.com/samsung_i5500_galaxy_5-3371.php

Android’s an awesome platform. So people who’ve got E63s or Corby’s on their minds should definitely consider this first.

Written by parrymathur

October 17, 2010 at 2232

Posted in tech

Tagged with , , , ,

WordPress for iPhone

leave a comment »

Testing WordPress for iPhone!

Written by parrymathur

April 22, 2010 at 023

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged with

Eclipse Education

with one comment

Click on the image for a larger version:

Why you REALLY shouldn't come outside during a solar eclipse

Why you REALLY shouldn't come outside during a solar eclipse

Written by parrymathur

January 15, 2010 at 2350

Posted in Funny

Tagged with , , , , , ,

%d bloggers like this: