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Eclipse Education

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Click on the image for a larger version:

Why you REALLY shouldn't come outside during a solar eclipse

Why you REALLY shouldn't come outside during a solar eclipse

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Written by parrymathur

January 15, 2010 at 2350

Posted in Funny

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Antimatter

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Comic I made (click on the images to open them):

Creative Commons License
Antimatter by Paritosh Mathur is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.

Written by parrymathur

July 26, 2009 at 349

Posted in Funny

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The Manliest Drink in the World

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Disclaimer: The following recipe is given for reading and entertainment purposes only. I neither endorse nor recommend the preparation and/or consumption of the drink whose recipe I am about to suggest. I also claim no responsibility for the effects that preparing and/or consuming the following might have on anybody’s mental and/or physical health. It is strongly recommended that you DO NOT try to prepare and/or consume this drink anywhere and under any circumstances.

Want a Sip?

Want a Sip?


Ingredients:

1. Vodka. Any brand. Standard shot.

2. Roasted and crushed italian/colombian coffee beans. 1 tbsp.

3. Pure and undiluted (CH3)2CHCH=CH(CH2)4CONHCH2C6H3-4-(OH)-3-(OCH3): 8-methylN-vanillyl-6-nonenamide, also known as Capsaicin; the active ingredient of chilli peppers. In it’s undiluted form, it is at least 18 times hotter than the world’s strongest chilli, and at least 533 times stronger than tabasco pepper. Use not more than 1 atom.

3. 1 drop of Chuck Norris’ sweat.

5. 1 ounce of road rage.

6. An eyeful of football/rugby/wrestling/boxing.

7. 10 years worth of SUV driving experience.

8. Facial Hair.

9. 1 ounce of pervertedness.

10. 1 year of gaming experience.

Method:

1. Filter the coffee after adding 50 ml water.

2. Add vodka.

3. Add the Capsaicin atom. Wear safety goggles and a hazmat suit.

4. Add the sweat.

6. Add the facial hair.

7. Add everything else. Be extra careful while handling pervertedness.

8.  Filter and boil the concoction in that order.

9. Bind the glass in chains and use a whip to keep it tame.

10. Dropkick the drink five times.

11. Drink while hot and burp out the flames immediately.

Written by parrymathur

February 15, 2009 at 721

Posted in Humor

Tagged with , , , , ,

Spin Dry my Cellphone

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After more than a year of brave service, my Sony Ericsson k750i cellphone finally decided to say goodbye. Let me recount the story of this warior’s adventure.

I bought this phone one fine evening from Sahara Center in Sharjah. I had taken along my hostel-mates Viplove and Ammar to help me out with the purchase. This was my first colour, multimedia, bluetooth and camera phone; and what a beauty it was. It had a simplistic, yet thorough and professionally designed operating system. The phone’s animated themes were so classy, that they made me switch from the Nokia camp to the Sony Ericsson camp in an instant. After bringing my newest toy home, I started playing with it. A few self-snaps and a lot of theme-transfers later, I set an alarm and went to sleep. Early in the morning, next day, I made its first call. A legend was born; to service me, it’s happy user, for a year and four months.

Having a camera-phone in your hands certainly is fun, especially when it’s your first one. I spent the remaining two months of the fourth semester taking pictures of anything and everything that was worth clicking. I also had fun using it as a wireless remote control for my laptop. Here are some snaps that the k750i had taken during it’s first two months of service:

Bus
Doughnuts

A year passed, during which this soldier, who had seen its ranks grow from Corporal to Sergeant, never gave me trouble. After its one year warranty period expired, I decided to crack into the phone, and flash it into a W800i. Using software available on the internet, I flashed the phone’s firmware, and upgraded it to a W800i phone. I now had a walkman phone! Sergeant k750i had just been promoted to Major W800i, and was to offer me three more months of loyal service.

On 24th August 2008, Major W800i was sighted martyred in a clothes basket. Its battery had been badly disfigured. It showed no signs of life.

A look at Major W800i’s log showed that it had been in a great adventure on rough seas- or shall we say- soapy, detergent-water. Excerpts from his log:

24th August 2008, 0800 h

“I have been assigned a shorts-pocket, and am stealthily waiting for further instructions”.

0810 h

“The pair of shorts is mobile, and is transporting me into what, from an altitude of 2 m, looks like a washing machine”.

0815 h

“The washing machine has started dispensing water on all clothes. These are flood-like conditions in development! I must make a move so that I can escape wihout drowning”.

0820 h

“The downpour is over. I am perched a little higher than the other clothes, and have survived the flood. For now!”

0825 h

“The walls have started rotating! Only if they can rotate fast enough. Then I can be thrown upwards, and can try to open the lid in an attempt to escape”.

0830 h

“Alert! Tsunami! A rotating one, that carries foam! Water has slipped into LCD, rendering visibility very poor . Have injured head from bump into the rotating wall”.

0835 h

“M’aidez! M’aidez! Have slipped out of shorts pocket. Tidal wave has hit sharply. Water in keypad. Suffocating! Water soon to enter microphone”.

0840 h

“Bluetooth Down! Bluetooth Down! Cannot send signals wirelessly. Recording all messages to memory”.

0845 h

“Twin Attack on microphone and speakers. Audibility and speech shut off. Diverting all resources to CPU and battery!”

0850 h

“Battery breach broken. Shall shut down entire system if battey short circuits. Arrgh! Leg seriously hurt due to impact. Foam penetrating open wounds. Nausea form spinning. Critical resources about to be used up”.

0855 h

“Bzzt! Bzzt! MAjor ShOrT cIRcuitzzpff. ShUTtIG dWn all elecTRIKLG acTiVITY”.

0900 h

“End of Log”.

Major W800i spun dry for some more time before the clothes were taken out of the washing machine.

And then came my new phone! 😀 . More on it later.

Here are the pics of the k750i. The first one was taken when it was newly purchased. The other one was taken after it had had its bath in the washing machine:

Brand New Phone

Brand New Phone

Beaten up!

Beaten up!

More on my new phone in the next post!

Written by parrymathur

September 1, 2008 at 1735

Posted in Humor

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Fun with Proverbs in Google Translate

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I love proverbs. They can describe in one line, what at times, cannot be explained in one hundred. However, in this age of globalisation, we must make sure that everybody in the world gets the message in the same clear and concise way. Since this is the age of the internet; and the internet has provided us tools like Google Translate, I tried to experiment a little. After writing this blog’s previous post, I started to wonder that if I were to deliver such a message to a foreign friend of mine, would Google Translate be reliable enough for the job? So I took some common english proverbs, put them in the ‘ol Google Translator, set the destination language to Japanese and hit ‘Translate’. Since I don’t know any Japanese people, I had to do the checking myself. So I opened another tab and reversed the languages. The results that came out were hardly proverbial. Here is a look at what your wise and philosophical sayings might sound like to a foreign friend. As I kept going, I kept experimenting with other languages.  Have fun saying these to people:

A rolling stone gathers no moss: Rolling Stone to gather moss

A leopard cannot change its spots: Attractions leopard can not change.

A picture paints a thousand words: To paint a picture SHIKAZU

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy: All work and play just boring boy Jack

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder: Beauty, AIOBUZABIHORUDA

Curiosity killed the cat: Curiosity is one of poison

Do as you would be done by: So do the same to be held

Familiarity breeds contempt: Introduction breeds contempt

Introduction breeds Contempt

Introduction breeds Contempt

He who lives by the sword shall die by the sword: He who dies in life like the sword of the sword

History repeats itself: Time, history itself

Honesty is the best policy: Frankly, the best way

If you believe everything you read, you better not read: If you feel that you read all the better to read

If you would enjoy the fruit, pluck not the flower: If you enjoy the flowers, no courage
If you enjoy the flowers, no courage

If you enjoy the flowers, no courage

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission: Getting a permission can not imagine a more heinous

It is what is in the mind when sober, that comes out of the mouth when drunk: What is this when the heart is serious, that comes out of the mouth when drunk

Lightning never strikes twice in the same place: Lightning and two attacks in one place
Judging by the above results, Google Translate is clearly not able to render proverbs that my foreign friend can easily understand. So remember that we shall not have truly globalised until we cross-proverbise.
Have fun!

Written by parrymathur

August 26, 2008 at 1320

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